“Not Going” is the Story of My Life.

17 08 2015

This is a rant. Kind of. It’s also an explanation. Kind of. So if swearing offends you, sod off and go look at a nice kitten video or something, because my blog is probably not your cuppa tea.

Because I am out of fucks today.

Because I get really tired of people asking me if I will be at their “thing“. Anniversary, party, wedding, SCA event, THING.

Because I’m tired of people trying to guilt me into attending something.

Because I get tired of missing every damn weekend thing that happens for six months of the calendar year.

All that being said? No, I can’t be at your thing if it happens between April 25th and October 10th.  Notice I didn’t put a year in there… and that’s because my schedule is cast in stone, oftentimes up to a year in advance and NO I cannot miss a weekend of Ren Faire to be at your thing.

I am lucky enough to make my living being a full time glass artist, and often, when people buy something from my booth (whichever booth that may be at whichever Faire or medieval event I may be attending) they are combining a material purchase with an experiential one.  Anytime my physical body is not in my booth, my sales take anywhere from a 15-40% hit.  Sometimes at my good shows in one really good weekend I can sell more than 10% of my annual income. (Take a minute and apply that math to your own annual income and visualize some thing you just got invited to…)

Attending your thing could cost me a comma in a paycheck, because my physical body is not in my booth. I’m in no way a gambler by nature, and I’m certainly not going to gamble my paycheck to attend a thing in a sea of things, many of which I already wish I could be at.  Some of which I cry over missing.  Some of which have hurt friends and family when I’ve told them, “No. I can’t be there.”

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In case my argument needed more fuel to the fire, consider that (because of my awesome customers) I am now lucky enough to own a couple of permanent booths in a couple of Faires.  Ren Faire property ain’t cheap – I’ve owned vehicles that have cost less than one booth – but at the end of the day, my “property” sits on land owned by a Faire… Which is not a comfortable place to be discussing why I won’t be at Faire to attend a “thing“.  God forbid, and I hope it never happens, but if I have to miss a weekend at Faire, I want it to be for a dire emergency, and not cash in my accumulated karma points to go to a thing.   If that weren’t enough, I have (in some cases) an actual clause in my contract that states, “The artist must be present X weekends of the 2015 (or whatever year it is) season.” Failure to do so can result in my booth being seized and while I have excellent legal staff, I’m not brazen enough to get in a dick-wagging contest just so I can be at your thing.

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It’s not an ego thing – In my deepest and most secret place in the back of my head lives the little girl who loved to color rainbows everywhere as a child, and she cannot figure out why people flock to her glass booth.  Because I’m the person I am (with what I believe to be a slightly underdeveloped sense of ego if I’m accurately understanding what my friends and colleagues tell me) I’m too shy to ask what brings people in. And while I love meeting new customers, and seeing repeat customers, my favorite thing to do is just make glass art with my headphones in. And occasionally talk to my dog.  That’s my thing.  The nuts and bolts of how I facilitate a paycheck from my favorite thing is why I will not be attending your thing.




2 responses

17 08 2015

But MY thing is really cool. And I’ll cry like a bitch if you can’t make it;)

17 08 2015
Patricia Krueger- Harding

Bravo girl – I totally understand what you’re saying and I too love to e in my studio with my music and the whole world just passes me by…..look forward to our next project hopefully this fall 🙂 Patricia

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